Being A Grown-Up

Sometimes, when I look at my 3 year-old daughter playing happily with her toys, I wish my life could be that simple again.

It’s tough being an adult, making important decisions and being responsible.

I even have a little person relying on me to give her a happy and fulfilling childhood so she grows into a content and decent adult.

Last weekend, I felt under the weather and wanted to hide in bed to sleep and recuperate for two days. Of course, I couldn’t do that; I had to work and take care of my daughter.

Sometimes, I wish for the freedom of my youth when my biggest worry was which movie to see or what outfit to wear for a big night out! Nowadays, a weekend to myself takes weeks of planning and even then it’s not guaranteed to work out. My girl could get sick or the childcare I’ve organised could let me down.

Last weekend it was really sunny. I wanted to spend it at the beach, reading important books and taking photos with my outrageously under-used camera. I wanted to hang out with friends I don’t see too often and talk about “grown-up” things. It didn’t work out that way, I stayed home feeling ill and a touch resentful.

The strange thing is when these rare days of “freedom” come around, part of me spends the entire time pining for my everyday life. When I’m away from my girl, I wonder what she’s doing and if she is happy.

So, I don’t spend a lot of time without her because I’ve now got it all figured out.

My daughter is a big part of me and I’m not complete when we are apart. Although, I sometimes wish to be on my own for a while (as all parents do at times) it can’t ever be for long.

So, I’ll be the grown up and rejoice in all that my daughter brings in to my life. And she can be the child; that helps to keep me young and allows me to revel in the simple things in life.

The next time it’s sunny, I’ll take my girl to the beach and we can build sandcastles together and paddle in the sea. Then, when she is tired from playing and full of ice-cream, she can nap under the shade of an umbrella and I’ll get my book and camera out and take an hour to myself.

I bet all the photographs I take are all of her though…..

BL

Moving On

So, I’ve got this friend, let’s call her Tory, and today she is moving on.

It’s been a long time coming. Today she starts her life over again and I couldn’t be more pleased for her.

On the outside it seemed like she had everything, a man, good job, kids, money but something was missing.

That’s the funny thing about life, the things that make you happy are not always what you expect them to be. After months of asking herself if she was living her life right, she got brave and made changes.

Today, I helped her pack up her stuff and move to a new place. We packed up photos and memories and promised to make lots more to fill the walls of her new home. It was kinda nice to walk into the new place, with bare walls and floors ready to be filled.

I will keep reminding her, in the words of my favourite artist, John Mayer, that her life is still verdictless. She has the power to be a happier person.

We all do.

We can make changes any time we like. And we should because our time here is short.

Tory is kinda sad at the moment. Breaking up is always hard to do.

I have a sneaking suspicion that what feels like the end is just the beginning of her happy ending.

BL

Why I’m A Sucker For A Period Drama

WIth Colin Firth’s success at the Oscars last night, it got me thinking about why he has captivated me since his days as Mr Darcy…

I’ve always loved to watch period dramas, ever since I was very young. As a Literature graduate, I adore the written word and it always fascinates me when novels or past events are brought to life on the screen.

I like travelling back in time for a while, where the focus is on thoughts and feelings rather than action. It was a time of manners and respect, without the fast-paced instantaneous lifestyle we take for granted today. 

Maybe I’m a typical romantic, but a man like Mr Darcy would be perfect for me.

I’m all for equality but, where is chivalry nowadays? There is nothing more appealing than a gentleman. I don’t want to a DM on my Twitter or a poke on my Facebook! Don’t we all just want to talk face to face sometimes or better yet receive a letter in the mail? 

The future looks like a bleak and daunting place sometimes. Am I the only one who finds looking backwards rather than forwards a comfort?

Who inspires you?

This post is dedicated to my beautiful amazing 3 year-old daughter Daisy.
She is my inspiration for everything.
I guess all parents feel that way about their child. And that’s how it should be. Even the everyday things that she does are magical to me.
Today, I broke my favourite mug, the one I drink my cups of delicious tea from. I was mortified. She wrapped her little arms around my neck and said, “Don’t worry Mummy, we can buy a new one. It will be just as nice.”
It’s that simple way of looking at life that gets to me every time. That’s inspirational to me; she teaches me to stop worrying about the little things.
She makes me want to be a better person, to be somebody she can be inspired by.
I work harder and love harder now she is in my life.

I want her to grow up thinking she can do anything she wants to do.

A friend wrote this in a card to mark Daisy’s Naming Day;

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

If I can inspire Daisy to do that, then my life will truly be complete.

BL